11/25/2015 0 Comments ProductivityI am learning something that may be very simple.
Work ≠ Productivity. To be discussed further.
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11/14/2015 TransparencyDuring the spring of my freshman year I developed anorexia. I was 94 lbs and my heart rate was about 40 beats per minute. I spent two months in an outpatient program for eating disorders at a local hospital.
This is a part of my experience that I don't readily share with most people. I, also, don't need to write about it. I can discuss body image, self confidence, perfectionism and self improvement from an objective perspective. I wonder, though, what is the purpose to decidedly avoiding this discussion? For social reasons, I would not bring this experience up in an everyday conversation just as you would not mention your childhood cat when you are engaged in a conversation nowhere near the lines of animals, childhood or companionship. Imagine, though, if someone asked you to elaborate why you feel that childhood chores aid in development of responsibility? Here, it may be acceptable and even beneficial to the discussion if you mentioned your childhood cat and how you fed her everyday. Nobody is asking me to talk about my experience with an eating disorder. However, nobody knows. The subjects that I mentioned above relating to body image are the subjects that I care about and have perspective on. I don't want to sidestep the reasons why I have the perspective that I do. I know, it is unpleasant to reflect on the self destruction of teenage girls motivated by an "ideal" that the collective individuals of a society ("you") have established. It is awkward. It makes you sad and angry.. I get it. It makes me angry, too. If it elicits this response in you, though, this means that it must be discussed. Quickly, it won't be so upsetting. Instead of perpetuating the problem, we find solutions. This is why I am not hesitant to talk about my difficult experiences. When I talk about what is difficult, I grow. Furthermore, these subjects are multifaceted. You might, and probably do, have an insight that I don't see. So if you feel like it, make a comment. Thank you for reading, Marisa 11/14/2015 0 Comments A Quote:"Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgement will be surer, since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose power of judgement. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller, and more of it can be taken in at a glance, and a lack of harmony or proportion is more readily seen." — Leonardo da Vinci 11/10/2015 0 Comments The Transition:I had depression my last year of high school. When I decided that I did not want to go to college immediately after graduating I was afraid that I would remain depressed. Now, I am in school. The choice to return reflects a confidence in myself, the confidence that I can be in an institution that judges your success.
How am I doing? I run, rock climb, meditate and eat well. I drink far too much coffee and probably don't get enough sleep. The fall through spring academic year is divided into three terms. I am taking four classes this term, Life Drawing, Intro to Cultural Anthropology, Intro to Psychology, and a Writing class, totaling fifteen credits. I received 92% and 110% on my first two tests. I address all of my professors by their first name and they address me by mine. I enjoy going to my classes and engage in the discussions. I am anxious and extremely concerned with succeeding in my classes. This anxiety isn't good for me and I am changing that. I am going to take less credits next term and dedicate time to spend on my interests outside of academia: rock climbing, writing, film making and naturopathy. I can't push aside these aspects of my life for the four (or more) years that I will be in school, that is not what I learned to do last year. I am working on re-assesing the importance of grades, questioning how they really reflect your self worth but this is not to say that I don't care about my grades. I always will. My parents are financially supporting me and my education right now. This means that I don't need a full time job. My primary focus is doing well in school. I am privileged to be in this situation and, for that, I don't want to throw my opportunities away. I do think that I am ready for this transition. However, I still find myself anxious and compromising time for my interests. That is ending. Now. With this post. And more. Take care, Marisa 11/10/2015 0 Comments A Quote:"The art of living successfully consists of being able to hold two opposite ideas in tension at the same time: first, to make long term plans as if we were going to live forever, and second, to conduct ourselves daily as if we were going to die tomorrow." - Sydney Harris |
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